Say the good part out loud

Learning intention By the end of this lesson, students can offer a specific and sincere affirmation, and receive one with a simple thank you.

Time: 42 minutes
How the room works: Small groups
You need: Optional paper and pens; fictional scenarios on the board or read aloud
Opens with: Good gossip

Before you start

Let fictional examples carry the main practice and keep passing available. Do not invite comments on appearance, identity, popularity or private circumstances.

Read the full safeguarding note Adapting it for your class A note home for this lesson

Two people standing and talking warmly — Illustration by RecipesforWellbeing.org, CC BY-NC 4.0

Why this matters

A general compliment can be pleasant, but a specific affirmation helps someone understand what we noticed and valued. Naming a thoughtful action, a useful contribution or a quality we have genuinely seen can help appreciation feel sincere rather than automatic.

Skill in context Acknowledging someone or something important with warmth and sincerity.

On the skill of celebration Try the interactive practice

1

Open with “Good gossip”

5 min

Use the Good gossip card to practise speaking well of someone who is not in the room. Keep all examples kind, true and appropriate to share.

Read aloud

Turn to the person beside you for a different kind of gossip: something kind and true about someone who is not in your pair.

Take 60 seconds each to name an action or quality you genuinely appreciate. You can pass, or speak about someone outside this class if that feels more comfortable.

Keep private information out of the conversation and allow your partner to finish without adding a judgement of your own.

As we come back together, notice what it was like to speak about someone with care when they were not there to hear it.

Listen for Make sure the practice does not become a popularity exercise. Passing and speaking about someone outside the room should remain equally valid choices.

2

Teacher explanation

10 min

Affirmation means noticing something we value and finding honest words for it. It is different from flattery, which can be vague or offered because we want something in return.

Specific language helps. "You are brilliant" gives someone little information, while "Your explanation helped me understand the question" names what happened and why it mattered. An affirmation should be true, freely offered and free of comparison with anyone else.

Receiving appreciation can also feel uncomfortable. A simple "thank you" is enough; no one has to agree with every word or respond with a compliment of their own.

Questions for the room

What makes an affirmation feel sincere?
Why can comparison weaken a compliment, even when the speaker means well?
What makes receiving appreciation difficult for some people?

3

Making appreciation specific

18 min

Show the class a general compliment and a specific affirmation, such as "Good job" and "Your clear summary helped our group decide what to do next". Ask what makes the second more useful.
Agree on three guides: an affirmation is specific, true and offered without wanting anything back.
Give groups several fictional examples, such as someone welcoming a new student, admitting a mistake or helping a team stay organised.
Ask each group to write an affirmation for the person in each example, then review the wording for assumptions, comparisons or exaggeration.
Invite groups to share selected examples and explain why the words feel sincere.
Offer an optional final round in which students affirm something they observed in the lesson. They can pass or appreciate the group as a whole, and the receiver only needs to say "thank you".

4

Private reflection

6 min

Think of something helpful or caring that someone does which often goes unnamed. Without identifying them, draft one specific and honest sentence you might offer if the moment feels right.

How they reflect Private journal

5

Closing

3 min

Appreciation does not need to wait for a celebration. When you notice something you genuinely value, you can name it clearly and allow the other person to receive it in their own way.

Safeguarding

Let fictional examples carry the main practice and keep passing available. Do not invite comments on appearance, identity, popularity or private circumstances. If a response raises a concern, do not explore it publicly; follow your setting's safeguarding procedures.

If something a young person says gives you concern, follow your setting’s usual safeguarding route. This is not yours to carry alone.

Adapting it

Ages 13 to 15: Model a complete affirmation before students begin and use concrete fictional examples from school, sport, gaming and family life. Keep any real affirmations to behaviour observed during the lesson.
Ages 16 to 18: Explore why sincere appreciation can feel awkward, and consider how specific affirmation differs from feedback, flattery and a reference. Include self-affirmation as an optional extension.

In other settings

Form time: Use Good gossip, then compare one general compliment with one specific affirmation and identify what makes the second clearer.
Assembly: Compare two fictional examples from the front and invite students to notice which one says more. Keep all reflection private.
Small group: Use the fictional scenarios, then offer an optional round of affirming contributions made within the group that day.

Curriculum connections

Australia, Personal and Social Capability: Social awareness: relational awareness; Social management: communicationChecked by AI review against Australian Curriculum Version 9.0, General capabilities: Personal and Social capability, its elements and sub-elements on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
Brazil, BNCC: Empathy and cooperation (GC 9) — valuing others' knowledge, identities and potential; Communication (GC 4) — sharing feelingsNot yet checked against its source.
Canada, BC Core Competencies: Social Awareness and Responsibility — building relationships; valuing diversity (everyone has something to contribute)Not yet checked against its source.
Canada, Ontario HPE: Interpersonal skills — expressing responses and giving feedback (1.3); relationship and social skills (1.4) · Gr 7–8: A1.3, A1.4Not yet checked against its source.
Chile, Orientación: Interpersonal relationships — constructive relationships (OA 5); Personal growth — building positive self-representations together (OA 1, 7°–8°)Not yet checked against its source.
England, PSHE: Health and Wellbeing: personal strengths, self-confidence and self-esteem (KS3 H1, H4); Relationships: positive relationships (KS3 R14)Checked by AI review against the PSHE Association's Programme of Study for PSHE education, Key stages 1 to 5, 2020 wording (read from a school-hosted copy, 2023/24) on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
England, RSHE: Respectful relationships: self-esteem and a positive relationship with oneself (statements 3, 1)Checked by AI review against the DfE's Relationships education, relationships and sex education (RSE) and health education guidance in force from 1 September 2026 on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
Finland, Transversal competences: L2 Cultural competence, interaction and self-expression — meeting others with appreciation; L7 — experiences of being heard and valuedNot yet checked against its source.
Ghana, Core competencies: Personal Development and Leadership — building self-esteem and developing others; Communication and CollaborationNot yet checked against its source.
Hong Kong, Values Education: Respect for Others (尊重他人) — discovering and appreciating others' strengths (S4–S6)Not yet checked against its source.
India, NEP: Oral and written communication (NEP 4.23); Ethics and values such as empathy, respect for others and courtesy (NEP Principles)Checked by AI review against the National Education Policy 2020, final English text (July 2020, the PIB-hosted copy) on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
Indonesia, Graduate profile: Communication (komunikasi) — speaking well and ethically (sesuai etika)Not yet checked against its source.
Ireland, Junior Cycle Wellbeing: Respected — feeling listened to and valued; positive relationships with friends, peers and teachersNot yet checked against its source.
Japan, Courses of Study: Special activities — bringing out each other's strengths (互いのよさ); Moral education B — consideration and gratitude (思いやり，感謝)Not yet checked against its source.
Kenya, Competency-based curriculum: Communication and Collaboration — clear, appropriate communication; Core value — integrityNot yet checked against its source.
Mexico, Nueva Escuela Mexicana: Feelings and their influence on decision-making — building inclusive, equitable affective relationships; Axis: InclusionNot yet checked against its source.
New Zealand, Health and PE: Relationships with other people — interpersonal skills; KAL mental health — enhancing a sense of self-worthNot yet checked against its source.
Scotland, Health and wellbeing: Mental and emotional wellbeing — caring, sharing and positive relationships (HWB 3-05a); Relationships — skills to sustain them (HWB 3-44b)Checked by AI review against Education Scotland's Curriculum for Excellence, Health and wellbeing: experiences and outcomes on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
Singapore, CCE: SEC: social awareness and relationship managementChecked by AI review against MOE's 2021 Character and Citizenship Education (CCE) Syllabus, Secondary on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
South Africa, Life Orientation: Development of the self in society — enhancing others' self-image through positive actions (Gr 7); building confidence in others (Gr 10)Not yet checked against its source.
United States, CASEL: relationship skills; social awarenessChecked by AI review against the CASEL Framework (2020), as published on casel.org on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
European Union, LifeComp: S2 Communication — clarity and reciprocity in conversation (S2.3); S3 Collaboration — trust and respect for others (S3.2)Not yet checked against its source.
Middle East and North Africa, UNICEF life skills: Communication — sharing meaning through specific, sincere appreciationNot yet checked against its source.
IB, ATL: Social: collaboration skills (helping others to succeed); Communication: communication skills (giving and receiving meaningful feedback)Checked by AI review against the IB's MYP: From principles into practice, Approaches to learning (for use from September 2014/January 2015, a school-hosted copy) on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
OECD Learning Compass: Skills: social and emotional skills (empathy, collaboration)Checked by AI review against the OECD Learning Compass 2030 concept notes Skills for 2030 and Core Foundations for 2030 (2019) on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
UNESCO SEL: EmpathyChecked by AI review against MGIEP's page naming the four competencies, with their definitions from summaries of Rethinking Learning (MGIEP, 2020), which could not be opened on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
WHO life skills: Effective communication — expressing appreciation specifically and sincerely; Interpersonal relationship skillsNot yet checked against its source.
Inner Development Goals: Relating: Appreciation; Collaborating: Communication SkillsChecked by AI review against the Inner Development Guide's 25 skills across 5 dimensions (idg.guide, 2025) on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.
Sessions for advocates, capacities: Establish connectionChecked by AI review against the three capacities of Ten sessions for advocates, as the sessions on /advocates/ name them on 10 October 2026, not yet by a human adviser.