Ten sessions for advocates, Session 1
Long campaigns and slow wins can blur what our effort is for. Looking at our reasons shows which ones we chose and which we picked up along the way.
75 minutes: The card 5, A short talk 10, Discussion 10, The activity 30, Private reflection 10, Closing 5, Five to spare 5.
Nothing here asks anyone to share something painful or to look well. Taking part silently is taking part, and passing is always allowed.
Anger, fear and exhaustion are normal in this work, and so is grief for a future we hoped for. These sessions are no substitute for therapy. If these feelings weigh on you, you do not have to carry them alone: turn to someone you trust, such as a friend, a colleague, a doctor or a counsellor. If anyone is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.
If someone is struggling, follow the care route your group agreed in its first session. This is not yours to carry alone.
For the sake of what, in its adult wording
Think quietly about one piece of work in front of you this week that you care about getting right.
Ask yourself what makes it matter and who or what the effort is for, then follow the answer one step further if another thought comes.
Your reason may reach towards particular people or a future you want. It may simply be the satisfaction of doing the work with care.
Keep the answer nearby as we go on, and come back to it if it helps you remember why the effort matters.
Anyone can pass, and quiet is taking part.
Watch for anyone who goes very still, tearful or far away. Do not single them out. Offer a break, or speak to them quietly afterwards.
Long campaigns and slow wins can blur what our effort is for. Looking at our reasons shows which ones we chose and which we picked up along the way.
Purpose here means what our effort is for, in our own words. It is a direction we keep choosing, and it can change.
Research on adult wellbeing counts a sense of purpose as one part of being well, alongside good relationships and some say over our own lives. (Ryff, C. D. (1989). Happiness is everything, or is it? Explorations on the meaning of psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 57(6), 1069 to 1081.)
Self-determination theory separates goals we hold because we value them from goals we hold because of pressure or approval. People tend to keep going longer, and feel better, with the first kind. (Ryan, R. M., and Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68 to 78.)
Noticing that a reason was picked up along the way is useful information. Nobody has to give it up today.
Where does your own work come from, in a sentence?
Which reasons in this work do you think people pick up without choosing them?
Questions in pairs or small groups. Anyone can pass.
Online. In breakouts of three, each person opens the shared ladder template, writes one task on the bottom rung and asks "For the sake of what?" three times. Mark which rungs feel chosen and which were picked up from training, family or work culture. Back in the main room, each person types one top rung only into the chat, and the group notices where ladders meet.
In a room. Draw the ladder on paper and work in threes. Each person shares one top rung aloud, and you notice where different ladders meet.
Try it this week. Before one task this week, such as a meeting or an email to a decision-maker, ask "For the sake of what?" once. Notice whether the answer feels chosen or carried.
Quiet time. Nobody shares what they write.
Before you try it, the field log asks:
What matters most to me in this conversation?
What am I assuming about them?
What will I do when I notice the first sign of stress?
One word or one line from everyone.
For your peer circle. When did the work feel chosen this week, and when did it feel carried?
Because sessions run over, and that is fine.
Practices to try at home: Held Loosely, Still Yours, A Promise for Bad Days.
https://rfweducators.netlify.app/advocates/session-1/
Recipes for Wellbeing. Free to use and adapt under CC BY-NC 4.0.